Soundtrack Of a Fallen Goddess
by Emi Lost In Wonderland
Summary: This is the story of a girl who fights for what she wants and goes through life to get it. Contains graphic detail and cursing.
1. Information Before You Read, Sorry

Dear Reader.

I own not the songs in this story; I just own the plot and the characters.

If you like a song youtube/Google it if you cannot find it I will be happy to tell you the band of said song.

Feel free to review if you like. Flames I will not read you can Flame to your heart's content but I probably will not read them

Sincerely

Emi-Ness


	2. Playing God

Hera was pissed. Everyone decided she couldn't make her own decisions. Emilie was picking her lunches and place to sit and who to talk to. Keith was taking it upon himself to talk to Joy and Derrick on everything concerning her. Alex was taking her everywhere Emilie and Josh and him wanted to take her when she was with them.

Can't make my own decisions  
>Or make any with precision<br>Well maybe you should tie me up  
>So I don't go where you don't want me<p>

Currently she was sitting at a restaurant she hated with a plate of food she hated even more in front of her. She was ignored in conversation and it was like she was invisible! "hello? Anyone home?" she asked she was ignored.

you say that I been changing  
>that I'm not just simply aging<br>Yeah how could that be logical?  
>Just keep on cramming ideas down my throat<p>

So she got up and walked out. Joy and Derrick after some sweet talk from Keith gave her a hug allowance right now on her card she had 4,679 dollars so she went to the ATM got 800 dollars out so far took the bus to the mall to the hair salon had them cut off her hair to a pixie cut with 3 different shades of blue alternating in it.

Next she went and got a new outfit which was a Tripp studded vest, a Hell Bunny Black Strap Tulle Skirt and ripped leggings with Demonia Stacked Strap Boots.

For her new hair dew she got 2 Color Fiend Sour Pastel Hair Extension packs and Turquoise and black skull hair clips.

For her make up she got Chlorine Eye Kohl Pen and Midnight Sky Eye Pencil and for her lips she got Dirty Blueberry Lip Gloss. She got a STFU cinch bag to store everything else in.

You don't have to believe me  
>But the way I, way I see it<br>Next time you point a finger  
>I might have to bend it back<br>Or break it, break it off  
>Next time you point a finger<br>I'll point you to the mirror

If God's the game you're playing  
>Well we must get more acquainted<br>Because it has to be so lonely  
>To be the only one who's holy<p>

Hera walked out of hot topic hungry so she got some pretzel bites and cheese and something to drink thinking of what to do.

She knew she wouldn't get in trouble for this cuz she had her own apartment that Joy and Derrick happily supplied as long as she went to school and got good grades and sent them an occasional picture.

"what to do?" she asked herself sitting in front of Barns and Noble when her phone rang it was Emilie asking where she went Hera ignored her and decided "new piercings are in order" so she went to golden rule tattoo and got her eyebrow pierced her lip pierced and her right ear industrial done and then regular piercings all the rest of the way up her ears then she headed back to the book store where she got a text from Alex asking where she was Hera ignored him too and started looking around the book store.

It's just my humble opinion  
>But it's one that I believe in<br>You don't deserve a point of view  
>If the only thing you see is you<p>

You don't have to believe me  
>But the way I, way I see it<br>Next time you point a finger  
>I might have to bend it back<br>Or break it, break it off  
>Next time you point a finger<br>I'll point you to the mirror

When Hera got the text from Josh asking where she was she was pissed 'at the fucking book store' she told them and sat in the manga section reading to find some she wanted she already got all the anita books that she was missing so she waiting.

After awhile Josh asked where she was 'manga where the fuck else would I be in the bookstore?' she replied and over they walked they looked at her oddly "have you seen a girl about 5'3 long-ish brown hair with blue eyes wearing a roxy sweatshirt and blue jeans?" Emilie asked Hera stood and sneered at them "does she have a name or did you forget it cause your boyfriend is there" "I was just asking no need to get a freaking attitude" Emilie said "her name is Hera" Josh said "I don't like that name anymore" Hera said picking up her books and walking to the check stand her friends following her.

_this is the last second chance  
>(I'll point you to the mirror)<br>I'm half as good as it gets  
>(I'll point you to the mirror)<br>I'm on both sides of the fence  
>(I'll point you to the mirror)<br>Without a hint of regret_  
><em>I'll hold you to it<em>

_I know you don't believe me  
>But the way I, way I see it<br>Next time you point a finger  
>I might have to bend it back<br>Or break it, break it off  
>Next time you point a finger<br>I'll point you to the mirror_

Emilie stopped her "Hera what the hell?" she asked "how long did it take you to notice I was gone?" Hera asked paying for her stuff "5 minutes" Alex said "bullshit I've been here for…5 hours" Hera said getting her bag and walking out to spencers "why?" Josh asked her she just kept walking until she got to spencers she found her jewelry and paid for it then walked out to rue 21 to find some nice undies to match her new look and bought those all the while Emilie and Alex where trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

Hera walked out to the video game store bought Emily the Strange: Strangerous, American Mcgee's Alice and Alice: The madness returns then she walked into the nail salon got her nails done in a light blue with black stippes through it. And her eyebrows waxed.

I know you won't believe me  
>But the way I, way I see it<br>Next time you point a finger  
>I might have to bend it back<br>Or break it, break it off  
>Next time you point a finger<br>I'll point you to the mirror

After that she came out "Your still here?" she asked indifferently "yea why wouldn't we be?" Alex asked "I never mattered before why start now?" she said walking out to catch the bus leaving them behind to wonder 'what the hell just happened?'


	3. In the dark

_All these broken pieces left unglued  
>Should never find their way<br>Into the hands of someone like you_

Hera walked into her apartment and shut the door and locked it tight. She had left them at the mall not even caring anymore. What had happened to her?

_I'm in the dark  
>I'm alone around you<br>I've never been here before  
>Nobody here to get me through<br>Oh I'm in the dark_

She was tired of hiding in the shadows like everyone wanted her too. If she was invisible they could do what they wanted with her and her life.

_Every minute shed is never mine  
>Frozen in this fog and hiding<br>Every second in time_

_I'm in the dark  
>I'm alone around you<br>I've never been here before  
>Nobody here to get me through<em>

Well now she was going to break from her prison in the shadows and live her life how she wanted. But first she needed to get rid of those so called friends of hers. She would keep Serena and Hanna and Cianna they at least understood her and liked her they let her do what she liked.

_Oh I'm losing my faith in every way  
>It points to you<br>Oh I'm in the dark  
>I'm alone around you<br>Oh I'm in the dark_

_The more bleak the day  
>The less I behave as if<br>Everything black can wash away  
>Why can't I just trade a dream for a way<br>To peel back the shade behind the gray_

She got a text from Emilie again but this time she was yelling at her 'what the fuck do you think your doing? Your suppost to hang with us and then do what we wanted not go off on your own' Hera glared at the phone and texted back 'fuck you, you never liked me nor did you ever notice I was there so don't get all pissed now' and left her phone in her room and walked to the kitchen she made brownie's with white cake in the center and at it happily forgoing the diet and rules everyone had on her she took the stuff marked 'Emilie' and 'Alex' and 'Josh' and tossed it outside so they could pick it up later when they tried to get in but she wouldn't let them, only Serena had a key to her apartment and she knew Serena would never let them in without her consent.

_I'm in the dark  
>I'm alone around you<br>I've never been here before  
>Nobody here to get me through<em>

_Oh I'm in the dark_

Hera started her new life now.


	4. Feel it in my bones

Hera heard the knocks on her windows and doors and turned the music up really loud, not loud enough to bother anyone else and ignored it.

_Blow by blow.  
>I didn't see it coming.<br>Blow by blow.  
>Sucker punch.<em>

_Rushes in.  
>Here to stay.<br>Rushes in.  
>You are here to stay.<em>

They wouldn't stop they tried the doors they tried the windows and they wouldn't stop texting her! Emilie was the cruelest though she pulled out all the stops 'no one loves you, no one likes you, without us your nothing, without us no one would want you' and the like Alex was trying to get her to see the error of her ways by using "logic" 'you know you cant stay in there forever, why are you doing this I thought we were best friends' and thankfully Josh only knocked once in awhile, he was situated outside her door, he wasn't going to leave until she opened the door, like she was going to do that.

_What rushes in to my heart and my skull,  
>I can't control. Think about it, feel it in my bones.<br>What rushes in to my heart and my skull,  
>I can't control.<em>

_I feel you in my bones.  
>(Feel... you... in... my... bones...)<br>You're knocking at my window.  
>(I feel you in my bones...)<br>You're slow to letting me go.  
>I know this feeling oh so,<br>this feeling in my bones._

Why wouldn't they leave her alone? She had to sneak out of her own house to go to school the next couple of days and when she drove by Josh was there what the hell was he doing, he never left so she had one of her neighbors give him food "girlfriend kick ya out?" her neighbor asked "yea in a way, trying to get her to let me in" Josh replied accepting the sandwich.

_Left hook.  
>I didn't see it coming.<br>Left hook.  
>You've got dead aim.<em>

_Rushes out.  
>Run away.<br>Rushes out.  
>You always run away.<em>

Hera snuck in her back door and sat on her counter eating her dinner she picked up when she got a text from Serena 'whats going on Juliet?' she asked 'I'm tired of being the hidden child caged in the background so I changed my look and dropped everyone but you and Hanna and Cianna, right now your sister and boyfriend have left me alone but Josh is camping out on my front porch' hera said back

_What rushes in to my heart and my skull,  
>I can't control. Think about it, feel it in my bones.<br>What rushes in to my heart and my skull,  
>I can't control.<em>

_I feel you in my bones.  
>(Feel... you... in... my... bones...)<br>You're knocking at my window.  
>(I feel you in my bones...)<br>You're slow to letting me go.  
>I know this feeling oh so,<br>this feeling in my bones._

Serena paused she had heard Alex and Emilie's side of the story but josh being there was messing with her, he shouldn't be there.

Hera got another text 'Are you sure its him? From what the others said it was a mutual understanding that they hated you, sorry to say' serena said hera took a picture of him from her window and sent it to serena 'he looks cold give him a blanket or something' Serena said hera paused it was raining outside and her porch didn't have very good protection from the elements, he was soaked ' but its wet that wont help for very long…' she said back 'then send him home' Serena said

_I feel you in my bones.  
>(Feel... you... in... my... bones...)<br>You're knocking at my window.  
>(I feel you in my bones...)<br>You're slow to letting me go.  
>I know this feeling oh so,<br>this feeling in my bones._

_I feel it in my bones.  
>At night my skull feels... (pressure).<br>I feel it (pressure) in my bones (pressure).  
>I feel it in my skull.<em>

_I feel you in my bones.  
>(Feel... you... in... my... bones...)<br>You're knocking at my window.  
>(I feel you in my bones...)<br>You're slow to letting me go.  
>I know this feeling oh so,<br>this feeling in my bones._

Hera took in a deep breath said a prayer and unlocked her front door and stepped outside "go home josh, your going to freeze" she said getting pelted with rain he shook his head no "please? Just forget about me and go home" hera said shivering she tried to pull him up he wouldn't budge she pulled with all her might and managed to fall back and hit her head blacking out for a bit.

_take a breath. Take a breath...  
>with me. Blow by blow.<br>Take a break. Take a break...  
>from me. You are here to stay.<em>

_I take my heart out of my chest,  
>I just don't need it any more.<br>Take my head out of the game,  
>I just don't need it any more.<em>

When she woke up she was on her couch and her head pounding with josh sitting soaked on the floor "damn rain" she grumbled sitting up only to lean forward holding her head in pain after it subsided she got up slowly took some Excedrin migraine and got josh a pair of jamma pants and a baggy shirt then walked into her room to change and lay in her bed.

_Take a breath. Take a breath...  
>with me. Blow by blow.<br>Take a break. Take a break...  
>from me. You are here to stay.<em>

_I take my heart out of my chest,  
>I just don't need it any more.<br>Take my head out of the game,  
>I just don't need it any more.<em>

_I feel you in my bones.  
>(Feel... you... in... my... bones...)<br>You're knocking at my window.  
>(I feel you in my bones...)<br>You're slow to letting me go.  
>I know this feeling oh so,<br>this feeling in my bones._

She left him in her house not caring that he was there, she didn't feel like he would let the others in, in fact it seemed like they didn't know josh was here so that was a bonus.

Josh looked to Hera's room and at the clothes in his hand, it took him 4 days in the cold and rain but he was in and that was all that mattered, he didn't even register the fatigue and sickness he felt coming on he just changed and layed on the couch.


	5. Your guardian angel

Hera walked out of her room the next morning with a bruise on her head and no school to speak of for the next 2 weeks she walked out to see josh on her couch looking pale and shivering she felt his forehead, he was burning up "damnit" she cursed running to get a thick blanket and draped it over him he stirred for a minute and blinked up at her "go back to sleep, you're not leaving until your better" she said running her fingers through his hair a bit he nodded and layed back down.

_When I see your smile  
>Tears roll down my face I can't replace<br>And now that I'm strong I have figured out  
>How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul<br>And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one_

Hera walked into the kitchen and rummaged through her freezer looking for a roast so she could make vegetable beef soup, that always helped her when she was sick so she would make it for him now, later she would need to go get him warmer pj's and some day-quill and Nyquil and stock up on tissue's and get her flu shot.

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<em>

Josh listened as Hera busied herself in the kitchen mumbling about things she needed to get or do, he didn't understand why she didn't just send him home. When she came back into the living room she shook him lightly he looked at her she had a glass of water with her "you need to keep fluids in you, so drink this until I can finish dinner alright?" she asked he sat up took the glass drank half of it set it on the table and layed back down her hands where warm when she checked his temperature "so far only a slight fever" she mumbled tucking him in, it was odd being tucked in but he quickly got over it.

_It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.  
>Seasons are changing<br>And waves are crashing  
>And stars are falling all for us<br>Days grow longer and nights grow shorter  
>I can show you I'll be the one<em>

Hera made sure he was asleep and texted serena 'can you come over and look after josh? He got sick and I'm taking care of him' serena's reply shocked her 'your seriously taking care of him?' hera sighed 'yes, it's my fault he sat out in the COLD FREEZING RAIN for four days….FOUR DAYS' serena sighed 'fine I will be over in 5'

_I will never let you fall (let you fall)  
>I'll stand up with you forever<em>  
><em>I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)<br>Even if saving you sends me to heaven_

After serena got there hera left to do some stuff promising to be back ASAP.

"you better be thankful that she is so nice I would have left you out there" serena told him he glared at her from under his mound of blankets serena threw a pillow at him and went to hera's room to take a nap.

Hera came back found josh asleep and serena asleep so she continued making dinner putting away almost everything and finished dinner.

Hera was bored so she was making dessert when she felt someone behind her she looked to see josh the small smile turned into a frown "you need to be resting mister" she said setting down the dessert and taking off the oven mitts she crossed her arms he just kinda blinked at her she sighed grabbed the new pj's she got him and handed them to him "put those on grab a blanket and sit dinner is done" she said finishing dessert then going to find serena.

_Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart  
>Please don't throw that away<br>Cuz I'm here for you  
>Please don't walk away and<br>Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah_

She found her asleep in her bed "serena go eat and then you can sleep in the guest room" hera said poking her "but Juliet I don't want to your bed is so comfy!:" serena giggled half asleep "up and adam romeo dinner is done" hera said walking out to see josh at the table in the new pj's she got him but no blanket she glared grabbed one and wrapped it around him then got him a medium sized bowl of soup, and one for serena when she came out and a small on for herself.

After dinner serena made a scene "I challenge you to a duel foul being!" she said to josh "Serena Kaelyne! He is sick! Duel him when he feels better!" hera said cleaning up serena pouted "but fair Juliet I must!" her sighed "no" she said "fine then" serena said turning her nose up when she got a text "lutie says I'm needed I must leave you fair Juliet!" serena said hugging and kissing her cheek "bye bye romeo sleep well" hera said "see ya" josh said getting up and walking out hera put the food away and sighed she was tired.

_Use me as you will  
>Pull my strings just for a thrill<br>And I know I'll be okay  
>Though my skies are turning gray<em>

After kicking off her shoe's she crawled in bed and turned on her music only to find a warm body next to her she sighed of course he steals her bed.

Hera got comfy "your lucky butthead" she said shivering slightly "how so?" he asked "I'm nice, now shush I'm going to sleep" she said tipping her head forward to where it touched him.

Josh starred down as her and went to sleep as well

_I will never let you fall  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<em>

_I will never let you fall  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<em>

_I will never let you fall  
>I'll stand up with you forever<br>I'll be there for you through it all  
>Even if saving you sends me to heaven<em>

In the morning hera woke up cuddled to josh warm and still tired.


	6. In the dark  Flyleaf

_I've written songs  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark<br>I've felt inspired  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark<br>I hide myself  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark<br>Used to be afraid  
>Of the dark, of the dark, of the dark, of the dark<br>Those in the light know we die  
>In the dark, in the dark, in the dark, in the dark<em>

She sighed her heart pounded loudly in her chest making it resonate in her ears. She never knew why her heart did this, it was nothing new, yet she reacted the same every freaking time he did that.

_There's only artificial light here  
>My flaws hide well here<br>I used to be afraid of cluttered noises  
>Now I'm afraid of silence<br>Fill this space  
>Idle words<em>

Hera got up and replaced the blankets on josh, she checked his temp it was going down but he was shivering she got up and grabbed more blankets and piled them on him, she kept her house kinda cold she liked it that way, if it was warm all the time she would sleep all the time. After making sure he was covered she went and got day-quil and made him take some then she went out into the living room to watch Legend.

Josh woke up around 2 pm got up used the restroom and walked out to find hera drawing with some random movie playing in the background "what are you drawing?" he asked she jumped and closed the cover of the sketch pad "nothing why are you up?" she asked setting down the pad "hungry" he said she nodded got up and pulled him into the kitchen and made him eat more soup then she tried to push him off to bed.

_I'm scared to death of light and silence  
>Jesus kill me inside this<br>Raise me up to live again  
>Like you did, like you did<em>

_Now I am mute despite myself  
>All of them are gone<br>The silence overtakes me  
>The idle words forsake me<br>And I am left to face me_

_I'm held accountable  
>For every idle word<br>Curse the idle words_

Josh shook his head he was tired of sleeping he didn't want to do that anymore "how about we watch a movie instead?" he asked hera paused "alright, I will put in a movie but u have to stay under some blankets" she said waiting for his agreement "fine" he said sitting down, hera picked up her drawing stuff and put in underworld 1 then set up the 2nd and 3rd in the DVD player then got blankets and she curled up on one cushion of her couch so josh could lay down.

_I'm scared to death of light and silence  
>Jesus kill me inside this<br>Raise me up to live again  
>Like you did, like you did<em>

After the first movie hera started to drift off she shivered slightly but was to lazy to get another blanket so she curled closer into the couch when josh layed on her waking her up again "hey" she said glaring at him trying to kick him off only to end up with his head on her chest and the rest of her under him she grumbled and got comfy her arms around his shoulders and she drifted back into sleep this time warmer than she had been.

Josh got comfy as hera slept through the movies after the 3rd one he decided to just crash where he was he was content in using hera as a pillow and after wrapping her up as much as he could he went to sleep as well.

_Glory shows up  
>Exposes us<br>I'm naked here  
>Forsaken here<br>By the dark  
>By the dark<br>Damn the dark_

Hera woke up to a dark house with only the tv's light to guide her she was warm and comfortable but as she looked down she sighed of course it was because he was doing this. Always happens to her, never anyone else.

_I'm scared to death of light and silence  
>Jesus kill me inside this<br>Raise me up to live again  
>Like you did, like you did<em>

Couldn't she do anything right?


	7. Careless Whisper

_I feel so unsure  
>As I take your hand and lead you to the dance floor<br>As the music dies  
>Something in your eyes<br>Calls to mind a silver screen  
>And all of the sad goodbyes<em>

Hera got comfortable again and went back to sleep playing the movies over for background noise.

Josh woke up about 7 am and got up to check his phone only to find 15 messages 20 missed calls and 7 voicemails from his girlfriend the latest one said 'honey where are you are you okay?' he replied 'yea got sick and have been sleeping sorry to make you worry baby' to which she replied 'I'm just glad your okay, I heard about what happened with that freaky girl, she didn't do anything to you did she?' josh looked at hera asleep on the couch 'no she ran off and we ditched her freaky ass, not like we needed her anyways' he said.

_I'm never going to dance again  
>These guilty feet have got no rhythm<br>Though it's easy to pretend  
>I know you're not a fool<br>I should have known better than to cheat a friend  
>A wasted chance that I've been given<br>So I'm never going to dance again...  
>The way I danced with you<br>Oh_

He felt bad as he starred at hera, she was so good to him, and here he is bad mouthing her to his girlfriend who was 2 states away. He looked over at hera and decided to go eat, food would take away this stupid feeling.

Hera woke up when her door opened " Hey hera you ready for work?" Hanna asked her "yep let me go brush my hair and teeth and grab a change of clothes" hera said walking into her room when josh walked into the living room "what the hell are you doing here?" hanna hissed at him "I was sick, hera let me stay" he said with a shrug.

_Time can never mend  
>The careless whispers of a good friend<br>To the heart and mind  
>Ignorance is kind<br>There's no comfort in the truth  
>Pain is all you'll find<em>

"she has too big a heart for her own good, she shouldn't waste her time on you of all people" hanna said walking into the kitchen bumping his shoulder out of her way "whats that suppost to mean?" he asked her "it means you're a piece of shit that doesn't deserve her love or her attention, so you should just get lost before you do more damage then you've already done" hanna said as she grabbed a soda from the fridge and walked to hera "so baby you ready?" hera asked "ready for what?" josh asked the girls starred at him hanna with disgust and hera with confusion "I was talking to hanna, you need to get your stuff and go home, I have a job to go to" hera said "why can't I stay?" he asked

_I'm never going to dance again  
>These guilty feet have got no rhythm<br>Though it's easy to pretend  
>I know you're not a fool<br>I should have known better than to cheat a friend  
>A wasted chance that I've been given<br>So I'm never going to dance again...  
>The way I danced with you<br>Oh_

Hera looked frustrated and desperate "you have no reason to be here, there is nothing for you to do, why don't you go visit your girlfriend, I'm kinda busy" hera said putting on a leather trench coat with a hood, josh looked impassive "what ever just don't be here when we get back" hanna said pulling hera out with her.

_Tonight the music seems so loud  
>I wish that we could lose this crowd<br>Maybe it's better this way  
>We've hurt each other with the things we want to say<br>We could have been so good together  
>We could have lived this dance forever<br>Now who's going to dance with me_

_Please stay!_

Josh watched them walk out without even a backwards glance and it hurt him. Hera didn't even look back as she got in the car and drove off to work… what was he suppost to do now?

_I'm never going to dance again  
>These guilty feet have got no rhythm<br>Though it's easy to pretend  
>I know you're not a fool<br>I should have known better than to cheat a friend  
>A wasted chance that I've been given<br>So I'm never going to dance again...  
>The way I danced with you<br>Oh_

Hera starred out the window of hanna's car "well I hope todays shoot is dark gothic and depressing" hera said "yea well that would cheer you up, tell ya what how about me and the girls take you out after work?" hanna asked hera smiled "sounds good to me" she said her smile widening "can we go to Azteca?" she asked hopeful hanna laughed "of course! Gotta get me a Mexican hottie ya know?" hanna said with a wink

_Oh oh Oh oh Oh oh  
>Oh oh Oh oh Oh oh<br>Oh oh Oh oh_

And off to work they went with the promise of good food and hot waiters.


	8. Summer Shudder

After the girls got to work they were busy until 5 pm, did they mention they where models?

"Wow I can't believe Micheal had that much for us to do today!" Hanna said as they flopped unlady like into her car "well we are the most sought after models, I can even do more exotic stuff now cuz of my hair and piercings!" Hanna said happy that her new look not only suited her but her job as well.

_Listen when I say,  
>When I say it's real.<br>Real life goes undefined,  
>Why must you be so miserable?<em>

_Everything you take,  
>Makes me more unreal.<br>Real lines are undefined.  
>How can this be so miserable?<em>

Hanna texted the girls and told them to meet her at Azteca. "so why did you let the garbage stay the night?" Hanna asked she absolutely HAD to know "he sat outside my door for FOUR days in the cold rain and got sick…" Hera said Hanna looked at her "so?" she asked Hera looked at her lap and started fiddling with her sleeve "I felt bad" she said biting her lip

_Under the summer rain, I burnt away.  
>Under the summer rain (Burn!)<br>You turned away._

"you have too big a heart girl you know that?" Hanna asked as they walked in to azteca and where seated to wait for the other girls "I know I cant help it, and whenever he sleeps next to me my heart freaks out, I thought I was over him but then this happens and I'm sooooo confused!" Hera said slamming her head on the table.

_Listen I can't make.  
>Make a sound or feel.<br>Feel fine I kissed the lies,  
>Why must they be so kissable?<br>Listen as I break.  
>Break the fourth wall's seal.<br>Gorgeous eyes shine suicide  
>When will we be invisible?<em>

"Hey Hanna who's the new weirdo?" Emilie asked sitting down next to her "what the fuck do you think you're doing her bitch?" Hera asked "caiman said it was girls night I didn't know she meant freak night" Emilie scoffed "go away Emilie" Hanna said to her noticing Hera's distress "oh so you would rather hang with her than me? Whatever I don't need you either" Emilie said sticking her nose in the air and walking out as Cianna and Serena sat down "I'm sooooo sorry Hera" cianna said hugging her "its okay at least I have my true girls right?" Hera said with a smile as they were brought menu's from a hottie who winked as he left "oooh ms. Rowen you are getting checked o-uta!" Hera said "of course I am" Hanna said flipping her hair making all the girls giggle

_Under the summer rain, I burnt away.  
>Under the summer rain (Burn!)<br>We find a way.  
>Under the summer rain, I burnt away.<br>Under the summer rain (Burn!)  
>You turned away.<em>

After dinner and a carry out meal and a number for Hanna the girls parted ways with the promise of hooking up in the next couple of days.

"you want me to stay to make sure he is gone?" Hanna asked as she pulled up at Hera's house "nah its fine, he probably left to see his girlfriend anyways" Hera said neutrally "alright well kisses, I've got me a hottie to call" Hanna said with a wink and a kiss she was off 'crazy sexy thang' Hera texted her.

After Hera walked in she dropped her pictures on the table in the living room and put her food away and grabbed a raspberry Arizona iced tea and put in "Hocus Pocus" followed by "Coraline" followed by "Alice in wonderland with Johnny Depp" and went through her pictures, she had to say she looked good, but she heard a door open to see josh walking out of the shower Hera frowned at him "I thought you were gone" she said

_This is the fall,  
>This is the long way down.<br>And our lives look smaller now,  
>And our lives look so small.<br>Willingly crying._

_This is the fall,  
>This is the long way down.<br>And our lives look smaller now,  
>And our lives look so small.<em>

"I didn't want to leave" he said what he didn't say was that he couldn't leave, this was the only place he had a home in, not just a place to stay. Hera sighed set her stuff down "whatever, don't eat my Azteca I had to deal with Emilie just to get it don't you touch it unless you walk and get me more" Hera said "okay give me the money" josh said walking to the kitchen "your paying for it if you eat it" Hera warned josh backed off he didn't wanna walk and get more, he didn't have any money either…

_Under the summer rain, I burnt away.  
>Under the summer rain (Burn!)<br>We find a way._  
><em><br>Under the summer rain, I burnt away.  
>Under the summer rain (Burn!)<br>We find a way._

Hera decided she needed a shower so she got her own pj's and got in the shower leaving her movies running. Josh looked at the pictures Hera tossed on the table, they were good, she looked good, and why didn't she look this good normally?

Hera walked out her shower refreshed and clean now if only she could get rid of the boy in her living room for awhile she would be happy.

_Under the summer rain (Burn!)  
>I burnt away.<br>Under the summer rain (Burn!)  
>You turned away...<em>

She was falling back into the abyss she was once in..And she needed to stay out of it, last time she came out scarred up and she couldn't have that with a modeling job on the side could she?


	9. The interview

Hera walked into her room and lay on her bed staring at her ceiling wishing she still had her cat, that would make her feel better.

_Forever waiting for disaster,  
>What David calls servant and master,<br>Will you play it too?  
>As this displacement begs for water.<br>Swimming, bathing.  
>Drowning in sorrow.<em>

_Scream with me._

But where was her cat you may ask. Well her beloved Snixers passed away in her sleep one night, Hera woke up the next morning screamed bloody murder and broke down, she still had scars from that too.

So here hera was laying on her bed "The islander by Nightwish" playing in the background silently crying, it didn't help that she had stopped taking her meds after Snixers died.

_I crawl across this cracked expansion,  
>I'll be buried soon.<br>Beneath the sand with pure intentions.  
>Wanting something, someone to follow.<em>

_For a change, I'll refrain,  
>From hiding all of me from you.<br>(here's my lullaby.)  
>Pray for rain, lose your name.<br>And watch all your dreams fall through.  
>(hush now, don't you cry)<em>

She knew it was dangerous but she lived alone and didn't have very many visitors so she didn't freak out as much as she would have but with josh being here and the thing with alex and Emilie she wasn't too sure anymore.

_I swoon upon my knees come crashing,  
>Will you bury me?<br>Today, this small favour I am asking  
>Hold me, you may drop me tomorrow<em>

Her reality was starting to blur again, she was starting to get **those **thoughts again… and she paused, would she return this time if she left herself fall?

_For a change, I'll refrain,  
>From hiding all of me from you.<em>  
><em>(here's my lullaby.)<br>Pray for rain, lose your name.  
>And watch all your dreams fall through.<br>(hush now)_

_For a change, I'll refrain,  
>From hiding all of me from you.<em>

Hera rubbed her eyes stopping anymore tears as josh walked in and crawled over her to "his" side of the bed farthest from the cd player, and layed down, hera looked in the living room he had turned off everything so she didn't have to get up, so she got under the covers on the edge of the bed staring down at the floor.

_Pray for rain, lose your name.  
>And watch all your dreams fall through.<em>

_Here's my lullaby.  
>Hush now don't you cry.<em>

As she starred she slowly slipped into her "dreamland" where nothing hurt her anymore until morning when she woke up and realized reality was here to stay and she was alone.

_Calm down.  
>Come down cold resides with me.<br>With me._

In the morning hera rummaged around her top drawer and found 2 of her friends walked to the bathroom sat on the floor her back against the door and said "hello"

_I flee to, I flee to decemberunderground.  
>As you exhale, I breathe in and sink into,<br>The water underground,  
>And I grow pale without you.<em>

Boy was josh in for a shock when he woke up.


	10. 37mm

Josh woke up and walked into the bathroom to find hera on the floor he rushed of her to her and shook her "hera wake up!" he said she blinked up at him "what do ya need?" she asked laying where she was on the maroon rug "what the hell are you doing?" he asked her "oh I came in to take a shower got sick and went back to sleep here in case I woke up sick again" hera said her eyes shifting as she blinked at him

Bring your secrets to me,  
>Just give me your hands,<br>And I'll let you feel the wounds.  
>They put in me.<p>

Josh shook his head and picked her up noticing she stiffened "whats wrong " he asked "nothing just sore from sleeping on the tile" hera lied he didn't comment so she left it be he set down on the couch with hera in his lap and played the last movie in the dvd player.

If you believe in me,  
>How can I be dissolving?<br>If you'd believe me,  
>I'd tell you everything.<p>

Do you fall too?  
>(everytime that I)<br>Yes, I fall.  
>(everytime that I)<br>Do you want to,  
>(try to pacify)<p>

Fall into me?  
>(fall into me)<br>(fall into me)  
>Into me.<p>

Hera forced herself not to show the pain she felt, she could tell now that she over did it, but she wasn't going to let josh know, that would stir a different pot entirely that wouldn't help her a bit. After awhile her stomach grumbled begging for food "let me up love, I'm hungry" hera said leaning her head back he looked at he and tightened his arms around her waist hera clamped her jaw together and kept her face impassive

Silence can you hear me?  
>Press me to your lips,<br>And I'll suck the poison out.  
>Who will heal me? me..<p>

If you keep killing me,  
>How can I keep absolving?<br>Your sins into me,  
>Begin the poisoning.<p>

Do you fall too?  
>(everytime that I)<br>Yes, I fall.  
>(everytime that I)<br>Do you want to,  
>(try to pacify)<p>

Fall into me?  
>(fall into me)<br>(fall into me)  
>Into me.<p>

Time, time, time,  
>We're not, waiting.<br>Time, time, time  
>We're no one.<p>

Josh noticed the twitch in her jaw muscles but let her up, he would find out what was wrong soon enough even if he had to wait for her to go to sleep.

Hera got her food and her thigh twitched it was damp which meant a trip to the bathroom but she would wait until after food to go check. After she ate she cleaned up then all but ran to the bathroom and shut the door, unfortunently her doors don't close the first time u really gotta force it close so it was open enough for josh to look in

Do you fall too?  
>(everytime that I)<br>Yes, I fall.  
>(everytime that I)<br>Do you want to?  
>(try to pacify)<p>

Fall into me  
>(fall into me)<p>

Do you fall too?  
>(everytime that I)<br>Yes, I fall.  
>(everytime that I)<br>Do you want to,  
>(try to pacify)<p>

Fall into me  
>(fall into me)<br>(fall into me)  
>Into me.<p>

Josh watched hera from the door she lifted her shirt and pulled her pants down a bit but he couldn't see what she was doing all he could see was her back, but he heard her hiss "damnit, I over did it this time, thankfully I don't have a gig with micheal for another week" hera said as she put something on the front of her, he walked back to the couch he was going to figure out what she did.

We are no one.  
>We are no one.<br>We are one.  
>We are no one.<br>We are,  
>We are no one.<br>We are no one.  
>We are one.<br>We are no one.  
>We are,<p>

Hera made sure to put numbing Neosporin on her hip and lots of gauze, no need for josh to find out before schedual right?

She walked out to the living room to see him laying on her couch, he looked very yummy from where she stood, she knew her eyes darkened at the thoughts that ran through her head, oh the things she would like to do to him, but she was trying to be good so she couldn't.

We are no one.  
>We are no one.<br>We are one.  
>We are no one.<br>We are,  
>We are no one.<br>We are no one.  
>We are one.<br>We are no one.  
>We are,<br>We are no one.  
>We are no one.<br>We are one.  
>We are no one.<p>

'Oh the temptation' she thought biting her lip as she sat down on the other end of the couch her legs up as she tried to squish those thoughts into a teenie tiny box in her head.

Josh looked at hera and smirked he could practically taste her restraint, this would be fun, maybe he could play a bit before he found out what was wrong.


	11. Hopeless

_Here I lie forever  
>Sorrow still remains<br>Will the water pull me down and wash it all away  
>Come and take me over<br>Welcome to the game  
>Will the current drag me down and carry me away<br>Suddenly the light begins to fade_

Josh sat closer to hera as the movie wore on, he saw how she bite her lip and gained a thoughtful look, he smirked she was so easy to play with.

Hera eeped as josh pulled her onto him as he layed down. She gave him wide eyes as he positioned her in her "spot" when they were like this, her straddling his waist her hands holding her up, so many good bad things could happen while they were like this.

_HOPELESS  
>I'm falling down<br>FILTHY  
>I can't wake up<br>I can not hold on  
>I will not let go<br>WORTHLESS  
>It's over now<br>GUILTY  
>There's no way out<br>I can not hold on  
>I will not let go<em>

Josh raised his hips connecting with hera's he had a rhythm down that worked well for her, but this time hera decided she would play along, so she closed her eyes and danced back using those belly dancing techniques she and serena learned.

_Silent I go under  
>I am not afraid<br>I can see the daylight shine  
>And slowly drift away<br>Safe to say it's over  
>Sink into the grave<br>There is nothing left inside  
>But I am wide awake<br>I can hear the devil call my name_

Josh was surprised normally she just let him do what he want, but participation was much better he decided as he continued their dance.

As hera dipped her hips josh thrusted up harder catching her attention she opened her eyes and tilted her head silently asking him what he wanted he leaned up and she smirked slightly.

Hera kissed his cheek denying him what he wanted, he punished her by a hard thrust she trailed kisses t the corner of his lips slightly giving in. If he could play so could she.

Josh glared up at her, she wasn't giving in. She couldn't withhold what he wanted he always got his way.

_HOPELESS  
>I'm falling down<br>FILTHY  
>I can't wake up<br>I can not hold on  
>I will not let go<br>WORTHLESS  
>It's over now<br>GUILTY  
>There's no way out<br>I can not hold on  
>I will not let go<em>

Hera smirked lording her small victory over him for a bit before giving into his will, she enjoyed it more than he did anyways. She brushed her lips lightly against his pulling back a bit waiting for him to press forward joining hers.

They played there game of coy until he flipped them and her moans became pained, he pulled back "what did you do" he asked hera batted her lashes "nothing of consequence" she said until he laid a hand on her right hip and she whimpered he glared at her and unbuttoned her pants "hey!" she said trying to stop him he held her hands above her head with one hand and finished uncovering her hip.

Josh starred at the gauze on her hip it was huge, what the hell did she do? Carefully he pulled it back to find lots of jaggaed cuts on her hip that looked really fresh. He looked up at her "why" he demanded of her she just starred at him blankly "my reality is fading" she said simply "I never know whats real anymore"

All he could do was stare at her and wonder just how much of hera was left in the shell he leaned over.


	12. What lies beneath

_Take a breath  
>Hold it in<br>Start a fight  
>You won't win<br>Had enough  
>Let's begin<br>Nevermind  
>I don't care<em>

_All in all  
>You're no good<br>You don't cry  
>Like you should<br>Let it go  
>If you could<br>When love dies in the end_

Josh put the gauze back and fixed her pants then got up and walked into the kitchen he started looking at stuff on the shelf to see if it held any clues as to what was happening in hera's head and he found her sketch book and what looked to be a stack of dated entries.

Hera decided she needed a shower and to hide her knife so josh couldn't take it from her, so she got in the shower and cleaned out her wounds which were looking much better as long as she wore her own underwear she would be okay if micheal decided he needed her.

_So I'll find what lies beneath  
>Your sick twisted smile<br>As I lie underneath  
>Your cold jaded eyes<br>Now you turn the tide on me  
>'Cause you're so unkind<br>I will always be here  
>For the rest of my life<em>

Josh couldn't believe his eyes, here before him was hera's typed diary, it had entries from when her cat died and what she did afterwards, it was full of questions about him and his intentions and the things they do together, she kept a record of it all, and now that he knew this something clicked in him.

What he found in her sketch book was to be expected with the entries she had written but now he had an actual image to go with them, the latest entry was of a women with her chest open and her heart missing, it was held in the hands of a man standing above her, the blood was shaded perfectly giving it the haunting tone it needed.

_Here we go  
>Does it hurt<br>Say goodbye  
>to this world<br>I will not  
>Be undone<br>Come to life  
>It gets worse<em>

_All in all  
>You're no good<br>You don't cry  
>Like you should<br>I'll be gone  
>when you fall<br>Your sad life  
>Says it all<em>

"so I see you've found us" hera said walking in to get some tea, she sat on the counter a searing hot cup of jasmine blossom green tea in her hands "what do you mean us?" josh asked hera nodded to the notebook and entries "the last picture is of you and me, and the entries explain the true hera, not this worthless shell, but being a shell does have its perks" hera mused with a smile starring at something he couldn't see "why am I in this one?" he asked showing her.

Hera smirked slightly "you're the best person for the job" she said her eyes going dim.

In her mind she was going over the scene in that picture, it was beautiful she lay peacefully in the grass looking into the cavity that held her head, it was soothing actually.

She came back to reality when josh stood up and walked out of the kitchen to gather his stuff "leaving are you?" she asked following him out "what do you think" he said she giggled at him

_So I'll find what lies beneath  
>Your sick twisted smile<br>As I lie underneath  
>Your cold jaded eyes<br>Now you turn the tide on me  
>'Cause you're so unkind<br>I will always be here  
>For the rest of my life<em>

_Don't carry me under  
>You're the devil in disguise<em>  
><em>God sing for the hopeless<br>I'm the one you left behind_

"your not gonna play anymore?" she asked her voice gaining a childish tone "no I've got some stuff I need to do" he said picking up his bag he had brought over "don't worry little one, no one ever plays with me, not even the animals, they don't like being dead anymore" hera said setting her cup on the counter then turning on "Spirit clock" and watched it as he left the house.

Hera wasn't worried when he didn't return, no one would believe him if he told them what he had seen. She turned on her music louder as she lay in an empty bed, she was always alone why would this be any different?

_So I'll find what lies beneath  
>Your sick twisted smile<br>As I lie underneath  
>Your cold jaded eyes<br>Now you turn the tide on me  
>'Cause you're so unkind<br>I will always be here  
>For the rest of my life<em>

Josh got on the ferry and the next gray hound bus he could, he was going to visit his girlfriend and forget about Hera, but he knew later he would have nightmare's of sick bloody smiles and broken blue eyes.


	13. Her name is Alice

Hera smiled as she and Hanna and Cianna and Serena walked into the photo shoot "hello ladies, today we are going to start filming" micheal said "FILMING?" Serena and Hanna shouted "what are we filming?" Cianna asked "well American McGee has decided to turn his video game into a movie and asked for my 4 best people to play parts!" micheal said

"isn't that the video game where Alice is insane?" Hera asked "yes it is I need a queen of hearts, Cheshire cat, Mad Hatter and Alice" micheal said they all looked at each other this was going to be challenging… "Who is playing what?" Serena asked " Well Hanna will play the Queen of Hearts, Serena will play the Mad Hatter, Cianna will play the Cheshire cat, and Hera will play Alice" micheal said with a smirk he knew Hera had a dark side and now she could show it.

_I invite you to a world where there is no such thing as time  
>And every creature lends themselves to change your state of mind<br>And the girl that chased the rabbit drank the wine and took the pill  
>Has locked herself in limbo to see how it truly feels<em>

_To stand outside your virtue  
>No one can ever hurt you<br>Or so they say_

"So I get to pretend to be insane and go on a mass murdering spree?" Hera mused at micheal who smirked and nodded as they got their costumes.

Cianna's was a little hard to do because some of the time she would be a CG character but they found her crazy contacts and teeth with a twisted tail and ears and eerie gray and black with spots of red, for Serena they made her a skirt corset ensemble that with her hat looked wicked, and Hanna's was the most magnificent, she had a billowing red and black dress elongated nails that looked like little knifes attached to her fingers, Hera had a dark blue dress with black under tones and a white apron on the top making her look delicate "now hera I want you to go crazy picture yourself as alice and act how you think she would act, and you will do fine" micheal said as they started

_Her name is Alice (Alice)  
>She crawls into the window<br>Shaped in shadows  
>Alice (Alice)<br>And even though she is dreaming, she knows_

Hera smirked she let herself go, the scene was where they sent her to the mental institution and she played coy with the therapist staring into space slightly bobbing her head when needed. Then it was back to her white room where she lay on the bed starring at the ceiling.

"And cut!" micheal said "wow" Hanna said to hera who came off smiling "You really looked half crazed there for a minute" Cianna said "it was hot!" Serena replied making hera laugh "I've told you before I was crazy!" hera giggled.

_Sometimes the curiosity can kill the soul but leave the pain  
>And every ounce of innocence is left inside her brain<br>And through the looking glass we see she's painfully returned  
>But now off with her head I fear is everyone's concern<em>

_You see there's no real ending  
>It's only the beginning<br>Come out and play_

As they all drove out they went out to eat and get the video game to play at hera's house so they could get into character, boy did they have a lot to live up too.

_Her name is Alice (Alice)  
>She crawls into the window<br>Shapes in shadows  
>Alice (Alice)<br>And even though she is dreaming  
>She's a locked for meaning for you<br>This kingdom good riddance good freedom and innocence  
>Has brought this whole thing down<em>

Over the next 3 months the girls rehearsed their roles and practice quoting the game as they played they even started calling eachother by their roles Hanna was Queenie, Serena Hatter, Cianna Chess and Hera was Alice.

By the time they had the first 30 minutes perfectly shot and meshed together Hera was starting to feel better with the killing in the video game and the killing in the movie she was starting to become normal again, that and she started back on small doses of her meds, that way the girls wouldn't notice _anything._

_Her name is Alice (Alice)  
>She crawls into to the window<br>Shapes in shadows  
>Alice (Alice)<br>And even though she is dreaming  
>She's a locked for meaning<em>

_She's a locked for meaning for you_

One night after the girls left hera decided she was going to draw again, this time she drew her character standing behind the other girls characters, for a nice looking get together, the only problem was she drew another person in the background…. Could he be coming back? Was that what she was predicting as she drew?


	14. Dj ease my mind

Hera grumbled as her doorbell rang "I'm coming stop the fucking ringing!" she yelled as she looked through the peep hole to see josh "fuck" she said pulling on her quicksilver sweatshirt and opened the door "why the hell are you here so early in the morning?" hera asked, she was relatively sane now, she had about 3 ½ months of her meds in her system not only that but she recently started getting her back piece done so that was enough pain to subdue the evil that lurked in her subconscious.

_in a in a deep sleep  
>awaken by the druggers<br>kept you hidden here with me  
>was not prepared<br>for a dead end_

Josh looked at her oddly "you okay?" he asked he hadn't seen this hera in a long time… she glared at him "yes mister I disappear for 4 months and then shows up on my doorstep at…8 in the fucking morning?" hera said walking away into the kitchen to grab a rehab monster and her calendar "Well I have about 2 hours and you're here, well I guess you're coming with me then" she sighed and went to the bathroom tossing her sweatshirt on the couch, her house had been re-arranged lately to fit her and her girls and enough space to play wii and their movie game.

_take me take me downtown  
>tonight<br>I want to forget  
>I want lights too<br>Blind me  
>I want you<br>want to disappear_

Josh looked at heras back she had more ink then he remembered, he followed her to her room and forced her on the bed to check her for cuts which she didn't have but she hissed anyways "ow you fucker! I just got coloring done yesterday!" hera said smacking his arm he let her up and lifted up her shirt she was bleeding a bit but it was good it was from her tattoo's "what have you been doing?" he asked her as she threw on a pair of shorts with pockets and a different tanktop, she already had her bra on so she didn't flash him.

_oh, oh dj, ease my mind will you  
>play that song again<br>cause we were in love  
>before, before the rain began<br>and if I cry out, cover my ears_

"well my modeling job turned into acting when our photographer informed us we where doing "American McGee's Alice" so I've been busy with that and getting into character and hanging with Serena and Cianna and Hanna who are in it with me so you have to BEHAVE yourself or I will kick your ass got it?" hera said

Josh nodded "alright, what role do you play?" he asked picking up the game case "Alice" Hera said as she brushed her hair out and put it up in a pony tail, busying herself until 915 when she got josh ready to go.

Once at the studio hera told him where to sit and went to get her costume when hanna walked up to him in her costume it was fitting to him, "well look what the cat dragged in, you mind your manners or we will kill you" hanna said smiling batting her lashes at him, he rolled his eyes and nodded staying put at hera walked over in her costume and blood in her hair he starred he was slightly scarred

Hera noticed his look and smirked it looked evil and crazy.

As josh watched the movie he could see why the director or what ever he was choose hera for the main character she was just psychotic enough to pull it off and still pretend to be normal.

_a foreign hand and runaway horses  
>restless doubt heartin<br>in a vision  
>I did not see<br>see it coming  
>now it's in my blood<br>now it's in my blood_

Josh started to stare into space remembering what his now ex-girlfriend said to him "we need to break up" she said not even looking at him but doing her homework "what why?" he asked "because I need someone better suited toward me, I mean your sweet and all don't get me wrong but your just not what I need in my life right now, I'm sure there is someone else your thinking about when you stare into space, so go to her, I've got more important things to do" she said and the next day she sent him back and now here he was in a studio watching the crazed looking hera act out her part in the horror flic

_oh, oh dj, ease my mind will you  
>play that song again<br>cause we were in love  
>before, before the rain began<br>and if I cry out, cover my ears_

After that session hera went back to change "so lets go eat I'm starving!" she said as the girls walked to josh "got the way you eat now its like your eating for two" Serena teased "of course dear romeo, our love child grows stronger everyday!" hera said teasing back "taco bell?" josh asked "nope Azteca we get a discount now" Cianna said with a wink.

_oh, oh dj, ease my mind will you  
>play that song again<br>cause we were in love  
>before, before the rain began<br>and if I cry out, cover my ears_

Hera sighed patting her full tummy "the child is now sated" she stated with a laugh, josh decided it was good to be back, he was still sore at the fact he was now unwontedly single but this was helping.

_oh, oh dj, ease my mind will you  
>play that song again<br>cause we were in love  
>before, before the rain began<br>and if I cry out, cover my ears_

_oooooh…ooooooh…..ooooh….oooooh_

After lunch they all went back to hera's place to play the game some more "so you think he is gonna have us do the second one?" Serena asked as they took turns playing "probably if the movie takes off, if not then no I don't think so" Hera said "I for one LOVE being a star, like I was born to be!" hanna fawned "oh shut it queenie!" the girls laughed as hanna pouted.


	15. Gutter

After awhile the girls got sleepy "I'm going to bed" Serena said and went to the game room "sounds like a plan" Cianna said following Hanna layed on the floor and yawned "sounds good to me" she said relaxed "there is another bed in the guest room for you to sleep one queenie" Hera said "oh shut it alice!" Hanna said throwing a pillow at her "but its just so much fun" Hera pouted yawning herself she had taken her meds about an hour ago "What ever alice" Hanna said flipping over to watch the movie that was tossed in Hera rolled her eyes "I'm gonna go to bed sleep well dear queen of mine" Hera said walking into her room turning on some music and crawling in bed

_I used to be a beggar  
>A beggar for your love<br>Then you used and abandoned me  
>This time I had enough<em>

_Remember when you showed up at my place  
>The way you just pushed me to the floor<br>Remember when you spat in my face  
>And later came knocking on my door<em>

After Hera went to bed Hanna flipped over "so why are you back?" she asked josh "why does it matter" he said with a glare "because you should be with your girlfriend not here harassing my sister" Hanna said "she isn't my girlfriend anymore " he said glaring out the window "so she finally got some sense into her did she? Well I think congratulations are in order " Hanna said "for what?" he demanded "Her finding out you where a manwhore who didn't deserve her attention, congrats" Hanna said with a cackle and a smile as she went to bed Josh glared after her turned everything off and he walked into Hera's room.

_You left me in the gutter, gutter, gutter  
>You left me in the gutter, gutter,<br>You left me in the gutter, gutter, gutter  
>Left me in the gutter<em>

When he crawled into bed after kicking off his shoes Hera blinked at him "what are you doing in my bed" she said "going to sleep" he replied getting comfy "this is MY bed, again why are you in it" she said with a glare "every other bed is taken and you know you love me, and it's the best spot in the house" he said she glared at him.

The next morning Hera woke up as a teddy bear and just layed where she was, what the hell was she suppost to do now? Everything was great while he was gone but now he was back and to fuck everything up, she heard his conversation with Hanna and she was kinda pissed, she was going to be the freakin rebound girl, she didn't want to be that!

Hera tried to get up but josh wouldn't budge "hey hooker let me up!" hera said crossing her arms "no" he said comfy where he was Hera bite his arm hard and he let go she jumped out of bed as he glared at her "oh fuck you, you wouldn't let me up" she said grabbing some clothes to take a shower.

_You've become a beggar  
>But I'm not gonna let you in<br>Won't make you even think I will  
>Consider this again<em>

_Remember how you told me you hate  
>The way that I am, the way I speak<br>Remember that I'm the one you're afraid  
>For everything that makes you weak<em>

Josh layed in bed comfortable where he was he didn't understand her, normally he got his way but she was being defiant he laughed that was Hera though so he shouldn't be surprised right? Now all he had to do was get rid of Hanna and he would be fine, he had a place to stay with good food and good entertainment.

Hera walked out of her bathroom refreshed and hungry so she made breakfast for everyone.

Once the girls smelled food they came running "your so good to me fair Juliet!" Serena said as she and Cianna and Hanna gained a look of pure bliss, they had pancakes with blueberry's and chocolate chips in it, fresh strawberries and there choice of juices from orange to grape to other. "So today we have off what do we wanna do?" Hera asked as she munched on strawberries josh came into the kitchen piled his plate and sat next to her she glared at him.

_You left me in the gutter, gutter, gutter  
>You left me in the gutter, gutter,<br>You left me in the gutter, gutter,  
>You left me in the gutter, gutter, gutter<em>

"is that teeth marks on your arm?" Serena asked him he nodded eating food "he deserved it" Hera said drinking her grape juice "Of course he did, but what did he do?" Hanna asked "He stole half my bed, then wouldn't let me up this morning" Hera glared at him "What do you mean he wouldn't let you up?" Cianna asked "I am NOT a teddy bear!" Hera said glaring further at him, Serena and Hanna threw strawberries at him "don't touch our alice!" they yelled.

_If you are falling  
>I'm not gon' catch you<br>When you come crying  
>I'm not gon' dry your tears<br>If you were dying  
>I wouldn't safe you<em>

He glared at them picked Hera up and put her in his lap and continued eating his food "let me go!" Hera said trying to get up but his arm was like a steal band around her waist "I shall rescue you fair Juliet!" Serena said running to her rescue, or well tried to, josh still won.

_I'll leave you in the gutter, gutter, gutter  
>I'll leave you in the gutter, gutter<br>I'll leave you in the gutter, gutter, gutter  
>I'll leave you in the gutter, gutter, gutter<em>

In the end Hera was confined to josh's person while he at breakfast and then moved to watch something in the living room, Cianna laughed "ITS NOT FUNNY!" Hera roared making her laugh harder "yes it is, he is like a sore puppy who got its toy taken away and he stole it back and is guarding it" Cianna said "I AM NOT A GOD DAMN TOY!" Hera yelled again this time josh shut her up, not that the girls could see how he did it but he kissed her quiet "bastard" Hera stated after he pulled back.

_I will leave you in the gutter  
>I will leave you in the gutter<br>Like you left me  
>I will leave you in the gutter<br>I will leave you in the gutter  
>Like you left me<em>

"you know you like it" he stated simply with an ego poking through "had better" Hera scoffed crossing her arms over her chest josh glared "we will have to change that" he said.


	16. Down on me

As josh was about to change Hera's mind the girls walking in "We are going clubbing so go put on your club outfit!" Serena yelled and they walked into the bathroom and the spare room to change Hera smirked jumped up and went to get room and locked the door and changed.

Hanna came out in tight Capri pants, and 3 layers of tanks, Cianna wore a nice shirt and a above the knee skirt, Serena came out in a blue and black sparkely short dress, Hera came out in a corset that zipped up the front and latched around the neck and a blue and black skirt that barely covered her ass with knee high fishnets and all the girls where wearing converse.

"to the party place!" Cianna cried and away they went in a taxi or two.

_She want it I can tell she want it  
>want me to push up on it<br>for she know when I'm all on it  
>we get the party going liquor flowing this is fire<br>50 and jeremih number 1 there's nothing higher  
>(won't you go and)<br>get it get it (I see you baby)  
>work it work it<br>(won't you, just put it down)  
>get it get it<br>work it work it  
>break it break it down...<em>

Once inside they found a booth and ordered drinks, everyone but hera got something alchoholic "so you guys expecting anybody?" hera asked off handedly "no why?" hanna asked "cause I see 3 guys coming to steal you away" she said and up walked Chris, Andrey, Dominik "Ms. Rowen may I have the pleaser of this dance?" he asked hanna blushed and agreed Andrey gave Cianna a smirk "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Cianna smacked him "yes, yes it did, you gonna dance better than your pick up lines?" and off they went Serena grabbed dominiks hand and dragged him off leaving hera and josh alone…again.

_Ok she headed to the dancefloor and she slowly start to poppin it  
>something like my wrist piece, everybody got to watching it<br>girl you got that secret treasure I'm gon put that lock on it  
>don't care what they say I would be stupid to be not on it<br>heard you go that sticky  
>lets go and take 9 shots we'll just call it fifty<br>and I'm gonna lick it lick it lick it  
>till her hicky have that river running<br>keep you running til you whimpy  
>(bang bang bang bang)<br>Oh you look so sweet_  
><em>what you work at Ballys<br>look at your pysique  
>girl you are a beauty well I am a beast<br>they must have been trippin to let me off the leash_

Hera sipped her non-alchoholic drink and relaxed against the pleather seats watching her friends with a smile and a slight giggle as the danced off to the side of the dance floor Josh drank his drink looking bored so hera stood up and fixed her skirt ignoring the multitude of eyes that looked at her and she tilted her head at josh in though "well" she asked "are you coming?" she asked he gave her a look that said 'why' she turned her nose up "fine I will go dance by myself" hera said and walked over to her friends.

_I like the way you grind with that booty on me  
>shorty you a dime why you looking lonely<br>we'll buy another round and it's all on me  
>as long as I'm around put it down on me<br>just put it down on me  
>put it down on me<br>down down on me  
>put it down on me<br>don't throw it off the mound  
>show me how its gon be<br>girl all I really want is you down on me  
>put it down on me<em>

Josh glared at the guys who turned to her she just brushed them off ignoring their looks and started her dances.

Hera was dancing how she loved to, to catch attention and maybe gain a dance partner, she refused the couple of guys that dared to come over, Serena decided to come over and dance with her and so did hanna so she wouldn't be alone she smirked and glanced at josh and smirked at him and continued dancing.

_Systems thumping party jumping  
>shorty she's a perfect 10<br>she rock her hips than roll her hips  
>than drop it down like it's nothing<br>she shaped just like an hour glass  
>she see how fast an hour passed<br>time flies when I'm on that ass  
>but I won't put our sh-t on blast<br>work it like a pro pro pro  
>sit and watch it go go go<em>  
><em>do her thing all on the floor<br>she bounce it fast and shake it slow_

Josh watched hera smirk at him, slightly daring him to go dance, she was playing with fire.

Hera closed her eyes Enjoying the music immensely only to have a body press against her back it felt like josh but she turned her head to check it was so she continued to dance, he would either get a hard on or he would join in.

_so sexual incredible  
>she beautiful she edible<br>I got her I won't let her go  
>I aint seen nothing better yo<br>look at how she twurk it  
>the way she work it<br>make me wanna hit it hit it  
>heaven when I'm in it in it<br>if I do not fit, I'm gonna make it  
>girl you can take it<br>don't stop get it get it_

Josh put his hands on her hips, and started to grind on her, the best place to be when she danced this ferociously was behind her, the most contact was always assured.

_I like the way you grind with that booty on me  
>shorty you a dime why you looking lonely<br>we'll buy another round and it's all on me  
>as long as I'm around put it down on me<br>just put it down on me  
>put it down on me<br>down down on me  
>put it down on me<br>don't throw it off the mound  
>show me how its gon be<br>girl all I really want is you down on me  
>put it down on me<em>

Hera smirked as she felt josh put his hands possesivly on her hips, this was the pose she liked the best so she put her hands on his and ground on him, try different styles she had wanted to the result was expected she was rewarded with a stifled groan and a buldge pressing against her ass, so she continued.

_Say you independant  
>get it from your momma<br>tell me if you with it_  
><em>do you really wanna wanna<br>baby when you see me  
>you know I be on it<br>can you keep it up  
>put it all up on me<em>

_Say you independant  
>get it from your momma<br>tell me if you with it  
>do you really wanna wanna<br>baby when you see me  
>you know I be on it<br>can you keep it up  
>put it all up on me<em>

Josh could tell she enjoyed this, she always did, but she was being evil so he would in return.

Hera sucked in a breath and arched her back as he bit her neck, that was such a turn on for her. Her eyes crossed for a minute in bliss and she bit her lip to keep from moaning she reached back and dragged her nails up his thigh in retaliation, he only applied more pressure.

Serena watched hera and josh danced and she didn't like what she saw, he had his teeth in her neck and her fair Juliet looked like she was enjoying it! But she had someone to play with so she dragged him off somewhere "private" to play.

Hanna smirked at Chris and nodded off somewhere to play, and chris all but picked her up and carried her that way, she would be his after this.

Cianna wanted her drink and Andrey followed and pulled her off somewhere.

As soon as they where "alone" Hera turned around and forced him against the wall "that's not nice" she growled, now she was horny and him being the pheramoune god didn't help!

_I like the way you grind with that booty on me  
>shorty you a dime why you looking lonely<br>we'll buy another round and it's all on me  
>as long as I'm around put it down on me<br>just put it down on me  
>put it down on me<br>down down on me  
>put it down on me<br>don't throw it off the mound  
>show me how its gon be<em>  
><em>girl all I really want is you down on me<br>put it down on me_

He smirked an pulled her against him "when am I ever nice?" he said leaning down to her she glared at him "bite me" she said with slight venom in her voice he smirked wider and did as she requested in the same place as before sucking a bit he pulled back when he heard her moan he watched her blink up at him, he liked that it boosted his ego.

Hera came back to reality slowly she looked up at him with hazy eyes as the girls came back to drag her home, he followed behind smirking the entire way home.


	17. This is me breaking up with you

Once home the girls crashed leaving a very agitated Hera to the whims of an equally agitated Josh, and by agitated ,if you haven't guessed, they were horny as hell. As soon as the girls went to bed hera turned up the music and started to strip when josh walked in caught her with her zipper down just below her breast keeping them in, his eyes darkened as he pinned her against the wall.

_Oh  
>It's such a shame<br>To do this before you see my trashy longera  
>But I think your lame<br>Wont listen what I wanna do  
>Your never game<em>

_So I'll see you later,  
>Alligator<em>

He kissed her will all the intensity he always did when they played, only now she was willing to play back and maybe they could play strip poker, without the poker.

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You  
>This Is Me Breaking Up With You<em>

_This is me tellin' ya baby  
>Sorry but were through<br>Oh _

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You_

After her top was gone he teased her, but she could keep silent during this and she knew it irked him that he couldn't get a moan.

After play time he wanted more Hera pulled back "no" she said he glared at her and she glared back pushing all thoughts of delicious things back.

_I'm so over you  
>I'm to tried and to busy<br>Your actin like a tool  
>And always on the phone<br>When you try an leave your to long  
>P.S. in it<br>Could you tell when I was faking_

He glared at her put pulled away "why not" he demanded he wanted her, why couldn't he get her?

Hera gave a humorous laugh "I don't want to be a one night stand lovely, your very tempting….VERY tempting but I cant"

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You  
>This Is Me Breaking Up With You<em>

_This is me tellin' ya baby  
>Sorry but were through<br>Oh_

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You_

_This is me  
>Breaking up with you<br>This is me  
>Breaking up with you<br>This is me  
>Breaking up with you<br>This is me  
>Breaking up with you<em>

He kissed her roughly and pulled back "I will be back" he vowed and walked out hera glared after him 'if that's the game your gonna play then lets see how you like it' hera said getting ready for bed and locking her doors after him.

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You  
>This Is Me Breaking Up With You<em>

_This is me tellin' ya baby  
>Sorry but were through<br>Oh_

_This Is Me Breaking Up With You  
>This Is Me Breaking Up With You<br>This Is Me Breaking Up With You_

She refused to be a toy, she always was now she wouldn't be.

The next morning she woke up took a shower and noticed a REALLY bad hicky "that bastard!"


	18. Hole in my heart

Hera got a text from josh a week later and he was freaking out so she called him "josh whats going on?" she asked "Sam just called me and told me that she was pregnant and now I have a son and im freaking out" he said "well take serena and go get him!" Hera yelled at him "where is he going to stay?" josh yelled back "you guys can stay here, just get him and bring him home" hera said calling Serena giving her the low down.

_You've made a hole in my heart,  
>You've made a hole in my heart,<br>You've made a hole in my heart,  
>You've made a hole in my heart<em>

_And they can say what they want but it doesn't mean a thing,  
>Even if they went inside me and changed everything,<br>This hole is nothing that a doctor can cure,  
>It's not a disease no, that's for sure <em>

After Serena was informed and she agreed to help, so they left right away.

The next couple of days Hera and the remaining girls prepared for the babies arrival. Once they got back the baby was screaming "whats his name?" Hanna asked josh looked so tired "Sebastian" He said and flopped on the couch with the screaming baby "why is he still crying?" Cianna asked "he only likes josh and wont stop unless he is asleep" Serena said "let me see him" Hera said josh gladly handed over his son.

_I was looking for a way to get close to you,  
>But I got inside, I got inside,<br>Nothing in the world could pull be back again,  
>Now I'm inside, now I'm inside<em>

_You, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<br>You turn me upside down_

_You, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<br>You turn me upside down _

__Hera cooed at him "Hello there Sebastian" she said giving him Eskimo kisses he stopped and starred at her "There we are sweetie, see all better now lets hear a giggle" she said and tickled him, he looked at her but it was okay he was only about a week old. "how did you do that?" Serena and Josh asked in unison hera laid back Sebastian on her chest as he went to sleep "I'm good with kids" she said humming something lightly to keep him asleep "most children like their mothers heartbeat its their security blanket and they can sense when something is wrong" hera said kissing the top of his head "Can I keep him?" she asked them.

_You've made a hole in my heart,  
>You've made a hole in my heart,<br>You've made a hole in my heart,  
>You've made a hole in my heart<em>

_And the gap that you have made goes deep inside of me,  
>It's all used to invade girl, you've got my galaxy,<br>What this is you do to me it's not been done before,  
>I don't want to stop no, that's for sure <em>

They starred at her "what?" she asked and glared at them "he needs a mom figure, and I've always wanted a little boy" She said looking thoughtful "good thing we bought mainly boyish stuff" Cianna said "I had a feeling it was a boy" Hanna smirked "Well josh looks like you have a couple problems solved" Serena said josh looked at hera who looked so happy just holding the sleeping child.

The next couple of days where relatively quiet. The girls stayed over to make sure that josh was doing okay. He was surprised, Hera let him say in her room and moved the bassanet in there for later, she slept with Sebastian on her chest and josh next to her with his hand on Sebastian. Hera fed him and changed him and acted just as a REAL mother should.

_I was looking for a way to get close to you,  
>But I got inside, I got inside,<br>Nothing in the world could pull be back again,  
>Now I'm inside, now I'm inside<em>

_You, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<br>You turn me upside down _

"So Hera what are you gonna do when micheal has us come back to film?" Cianna asked her one day "Well josh knows what to do, and I can take over when I get home if he needs me to besides I've been taking up too much time" hera said feeding Sebastian looking a little guilty, she passed him to josh and started cleaning, she only did that when she was upset or angry but the music she played said she was upset.

They looked at hera, she was acting odd "its okay" josh said to her carefully standing up after Sebastian was done eating he burped him on his way to the kitchen where hera was. She looked up at him as he stood there with his son and she bit her lip 'I've been selfish' she though and went back to cleaning only to stop when josh grabbed her hand "I don't mind" he said handing her Sebie "you sure?" she asked holding him close to her he opened his eyes and yawned "awe you are just too cute" she said kissing his forehead and hugging josh tightly "thank you" she said.

_you, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<em>  
><em>You turn me upside down<em>

_All I want to do is to do something with you,  
>All I want to do is to do something with you,<br>(All I want to do is to do something with you),  
>All I want to do is to do something with you,<br>(All I want to do is to do something with you),  
>All I want to do is to do something with you,<br>(All I want to do is to do something with you),  
>All I want to do is to do something with you,<br>(All I want to do is to do something with you),  
>All I want to do is to do something with you, <em>

The girls smiled that was really sweet of him. "So today is our last day off" Serena said "we should go to the park" Cianna said Hanna brightened "Can I bring chris?" she asked excitedly "of course you can, you girls can bring Dominik and Andrey as well" Hera said as she walked into her room and changed Sebie and packed him a diaper bag, 2 bottles of formula and a warmer outfit if need be.

After that she put him in his carseat and smiled as she adjusted his hat "time to go for a ride sweetie" she said and picked him up along with her purse and a sweatshirt that was warm but unzipped she was ready and so was everyone elsa.

Once at the park hera sat by the swings with everyone elsa and enjoyed the sunlight she took Sebastian out and put him on Josh as he layed in the grass "play with daddy sweetie" she said kissing his forehead and got up to swing. "I didn't know you and hera had a kid" Dominik said to josh "we didn't my ex and I did" josh said holding his son up to look at him "you sure he looks like Hera did when she looked normal" Chris said "Hera is taking over the role of mommy, she loves that little brat like he is hers" Hanna said "I HEARD THAT!" Hera yelled throwing a piece of candy at hanna "ooh candy!" she said eating it happily "Its true though, she does love Sebastian, we all do, but I'm sure he will call her mommy when he can talk, IF josh allows" Serena said descreatly.

_You, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<br>You turn me upside down _

_You, you turn me upside down,  
>Whenever you're around,<br>You turn me upside down _

Josh paused she certainly did act like a proper mother, maybe he could let him do that in time, right now he just wanted what was best for his little Sebastian and so far Hera was it…as long as she took her meds that is.


	19. Let it die

The girls had been gone the next day back to filming and left josh and Sebie at home, needless to say that was weird for him. He woke up and had to change Sebastian, that was okay then he had to feed him and that was fine but when he went to play his game he layed him on the couch and he started screaming.

_We had fire in our eyes  
>In the beginning I<br>Never felt so alive  
>In the beginning you<br>You blame me but  
>It's not fair when you say that I didn't try<br>I just don't want to hear it anymore_

"what's wrong?" josh asked him picking him up he quieted a bit but kept going. So he tried his binky and a bottle the bottle worked and put him to sleep for awhile, but that was only a couple hours, then he started again josh tried holding him and singing for him but that didn't work either.

So he put the kid in his car seat and took the bus for the studio so he could give him to Hera so he could get some peace and quiet!

_I swear I never meant to let it die  
>I just don't care about you anymore<br>It's not fair when you say that I didn't try  
>I just don't care about you anymore<em>

Once at the studio he walked right in found Hera and said "take the fucking bastard!" he said forcing the kid on her in the middle of a take "what the hell did you just call him?" Hanna yelled "he has been screaming none stop for 2 hours he won't shut up" josh said to her Hera took Sebastian out of his car seat and as soon as he saw her he slowed his crying.

"of course he fucking stopped for you but for me no" josh said angrily "you're not cut out to be a father that's why" Hanna seethed to him "what do you mean" josh said with a glare "you can't even handle your child for 7 hours without throwing a fit and shoving him off on someone!" Hanna yelled making Sebastian cry again.

_We had time on our side  
>In the beginning we<br>We had nothing to hide  
>In the beginning you<br>You blame me but  
>It's not fair when you say that I didn't try<br>I just don't want to hear it anymore_

"shoo it's okay sweetie mommies here" Hera said rocking him back and forth singing softly to him to calm him down "I didn't know you had a kid?" micheal said "she didn't he is mine" josh said trying to grab the kid "I think not josh back off " Serena said to him "he is my son why not?" josh demanded

"because he needs proper care, and he is quiet right now, even sleeping so back off" Cianna said "why did you make a fuss over nothing?" Hera asked him walking to next to micheal to sit down with Sebastian "cute kid but now I'm going to have to cut the day short because YOU decided to interrupt "micheal said glaring at josh.

Josh turned around and stalked out leaving his son behind with Hera.

Hera watched him go with a glare "Jesus, I could just strangle him!" she said looking at Sebie "I mean sure babies cry a lot but they need changed or food or just want to be held and feel safe I thought he knew this?" Hera asked no one in particular "he just sucks at being a dad" Hanna said crossing her arm over her chest.

"well we will just need to pick up where we left off tomorrow sleep well ladies and kick his ass for me will ya?" micheal asked them "of course SOMEONE needs to set him straight" Hanna said "give me his car seat so I can go change" Hera said as she put Sebie away and went to change.

"so she took on the responsibility of his kid?" micheal asked them "yep, gladly even" Serena said "she is one crazy bitch" micheal commented with affection "agreed" the girls replied.

_I swear I never meant to let it die  
>I just don't care about you anymore<br>It's not fair when you say that I didn't try  
>I just don't care about you anymore<em>

Josh walked around town pissed at everything, but not wanting to face those stupid bitches, even if they were right. 'why do they always have to be right?' he asked furiously and he punched a tree, it hurt but it felt good so he did it repeatedly, after awhile he couldn't make his hand into a fist anymore and his knuckles where bloody so he stopped and started walking back to Hera's place, the clouds darkening behind him.

_You say that I didn't try  
>You say that I didn't try<br>You say that I didn't try_

Once he got there he opened the door and saw the girls stuff but Hera was asleep on the couch Bastian on her chest with a blanket covering them and Labyrinths playing in the background he closed and locked it. He changed into some pj's and went to bed leaving Hera and the baby on the couch.

_swear I never meant to let it die  
>I just don't care about you anymore<br>It's not fair when you say that I didn't try  
>I just don't care about you anymore<br>I just don't care about you anymore  
>I just don't care about you anymore<br>I just don't care about you anymore  
>I just don't care about you anymore<em>

Hera woke up later when Bastian fussed she changed him turned everything off and went to bed only to find josh there and taking up her space "get off of my side of the bed" Hera growled and shoved him over with her foot then crawled in and layed cuddled around Bastian until she fell asleep again, imagining a wall between her and josh that if he touched it it would fall on him and crush him to death.


	20. In the end

_(It starts with one)  
>One thing I don't know why<br>It doesn't even matter how hard you try  
>Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme<br>To explain in due time_

Hera woke up later that day Bastian was still asleep so she put him in his bassinet and walked out of her room to her computer and started typing out the past couple of days while listening to some Breaking Benjamin. It was really early, like 6:30 in the morning she made herself jasmine blossom green tea to get ready for the day.

_All I know  
>time is a valuable thing<br>Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings  
>Watch it count down to the end of the day<br>The clock ticks life away_

After getting Sebastian ready she woke the girls up and they all ate then hera wrote josh a note and left it tapped to the tv where she knew he would find it, they took Sebastian with them and left.

When josh woke up he searched for significant other and two children but found them gone. Then he remembered it was all a dream, hera wasn't anything but a friend to him. As he got out of bed his hand blazed to life with pain, and he remembered he fucked it up yesterday after the fight with the girls.

_It's so unreal  
>Didn't look out below<br>Watch the time go right out the window  
>Trying to hold on but didn't even know<br>Wasted it all just to  
>Watch you go<em>

He got up and looked for Sebastian but couldn't find him, so he went out in the living room to find the note 'Dear josh, we took Bastian with us to the studio, fix your hand and wait we will be back when we are done' with hera's signature at the bottom "well at least its quiet" he said softly as he got on the 360 and played something.

_I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
>What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard<br>And got so far  
>But in the end<br>It doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall  
>To lose it all<em>  
><em>But in the end<br>It doesn't even matter_

Hera was doing well in her filming, Sebastian was sleeping by micheal while they filmed, on break she feed him and changed him, then rocked him to sleep again. And if he woke up micheal or whoever wasn't on set played with him.

_One thing, I don't know why  
>It doesn't even matter how hard you try<br>Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme  
>To remind myself how<br>I tried so hard  
>In spite of the way you were mocking me<br>Acting like I was part of your property  
>Remembering all the times you fought with me<br>I'm surprised it got so (far)_

After they were finally done with the first movie they got to keep their outfits "you girls earned them!" micheal yelled hugging them "now we just see if the public likes it" he said with a wink "oh I think they should" Hanna said confidently "Blood guts and gore, what more could a girl want?" Hera asked picking up Bastian "true, celebration at azteca?" Cianna asked they all, of course, agreed.

_Things aren't the way they were before  
>You wouldn't even recognize me anymore<br>Not that you knew me back then  
>But it all comes back to me<br>In the end_

They ended up starting a food fight and getting Chris Andrey and Dominik in trouble but not severe so they went home, well the girls went to their respective houses and hera took Sebie home.

When she got back she handed josh his car seat and went to the bedroom to change into lounging clothes and then took a shower before coming out and flopping on the couch.

_You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
>What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard<br>And got so far  
>But in the end<br>It doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall  
>To lose it all<br>But in the end  
>It doesn't even matter<em>

"was your day "quiet" enough?" hera asked her tone clipped "yea, thanks" Josh said picking up Sebastian and rocked him quietly "daddy missed you" he said in that low murmmer of his making hera smile and go into the kitchen and put on her apron "I think tonight calls for celebration don't you?" she asked as she started baking "we are in for a treat Bastian" josh said with a smile

_I've put my trust in you  
>Pushed as far as I can go<br>For all this  
>There's only one thing you should know<br>I've put my trust in you  
>Pushed as far as I can go<br>For all this_

Hera didn't know why she was doing this, sure she was excited to finish the movie but she felt the homey atmosphere of her house and she didn't like it, she knew if she where to get used to it one day it was going to be taken away and she didn't want that.

_There's only one thing you should know  
>I tried so hard<br>And got so far  
>But in the end<br>It doesn't even matter  
>I had to fall<br>To lose it all  
>But in the end<br>It doesn't even matter_

But she could pretend everything was okay, because as she had proven, she was a great actress.


	21. Titanium

Not two weeks later she was right.

Sam, Josh's ex had called him to court for custode of Sebastian. Josh never came back and neither did Sebastian.

"I fucking knew it was too good to be true" Hera said as she tried to find an outlet of her anger, and what do ya know, hitting things work.

So she took up kick-boxing.

"why are we doing this again?" Serena asked "because its good for us" Hera said as she dragged them into her kick-boxing class "why do I get the feeling this wont be fun" Hanna said with a sigh.

Oh how right she was, it was a fast pace 'I fucking hate you let me hit things' class, which really suited Hera when you look at it. The only one that could keep up with hera's rage was Cianna, and that was because she was VERY athletic.

_You shout it out  
>But I can't hear a word you say<br>I'm talking loud not saying much  
>I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet<br>You shoot me down, but I get up_

After the class the girls tackled hera "what…the…hell…is…your problem?" Hanna asked in between pants "I'm pissed off and need to find a way to channel my rage that doesn't involve me going to prison" Hera stated simply and the girls just starred.

_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
>Fire away, fire away<br>Ricochet, you take your aim  
>Fire away, fire away<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<em>

After that fiasco the girls never went to class with Hera again.

It had been 2 months since anyone had seen Josh or his son, they started to forget his existence in the forefront of their minds. So when he showed up on hera's doorstep baby-less they where rattled.

"what the hell?" Hera asked him "judge granted her temporary custody for the time being until he has his ruling, so you may have to appear in court" josh said going in and flopping on the couch.

_Cut me down  
>But it's you who have further to fall<br>Ghost town, haunted love  
>Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones<br>I'm talking loud not saying much_

"I fucking hate court" Hera grumbled going into the kitchen to cook something.

"why are we involved?" Cianna asked "because you guys were around me with him and helped me take care of him, and it will help my case" Josh said rubbing his forehead, he had a migrane.

"I could strangle you" Hera yelled from the kitchen as they heard plates get tossed around "at least we might help" Serena said as a plate was tossed against the wall next to her head "and she can buy new dishes" Hanna said as they heard shattering noises "Damnit!" Hera cursed after 5 minutes she came out.

She had a huge cut on her left hand, actually the glass had gone through the top of her hand and was sticking out a bit.

"Can one of you drive me to the hospital?" Hera asked as she dripped blood everywhere "god hera!" Josh said jumping up to get a paper towel "I think you need another class" Cianna said "I'm ready come on hera" Serena said as she took hera to the hospital.

_I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose  
>Fire away, fire away<br>Ricochet, you take your aim  
>Fire away, fire away<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>I am titanium  
>I am titanium<em>

"what do you mean another class?" josh asked surveying the damage in the kitchen with Hanna and Cianna "oh, she took up kick-boxing while you where gone" Cianna said as she started to clean the kitchen "what for?" josh asked standing there "to channel her rage, she has been really pissed off lately" Hanna said going to help Cianna leaving josh to stand there and stare.

_Stone-hard, machine gun  
>Firing at the ones who run<br>Stone-hard, those bulletproof glass  
><em> 

After 3 hours and 32 stitches later hera was home and slightly pissed "whats wrong" Hanna asked "my hand hurts like a mother fucker, I broke most of my dishes, and I'm tired as hell, that and I just got THIRTY TWO FUCKING STITCHES" Hera growled glaring at them "and now you have to stop your class until your hand heals" Serena said hera curled her right hand and punched the wall then took her meds and went to bed.

"holy shit is THAT what I've missed?" josh asked "yep" hanna said serena patted his cheek "good luck!" they said and they ran out the door.

_You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>You shoot me down but I won't fall  
>I am titanium<br>I am titanium_

"Gee thanks" he said not looking forward to the rest of this week.


	22. Breath

Hera woke up the next morning in pain and pissed off. Her hand still hurt like a fucking bitch but now she had both hands that hurt and it felt like one of her stitches pulled loose in her sleep.

_I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like._

She walked out of her room to see josh crashed on the couch and her kitchen cleaned and she sighed and went to eat some cereal, she didn't feel like cooking and she could at least hold a spoon.

_Is it over yet, in my head?_

After that she woke up josh so she could watch a movie. They settled back into their routine fairly easy.

After a month and a half of court dates and a trip to the hospital or two josh was granted full custody of Sebastian. Hera was thrilled when he was released to them, until she saw him and how he was acting.

_I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind._

Sebastian had a bruise on his face and he was hoarse and he was screaming Hera ran to grab him swiping Sam's legs out from under her and grabbing him as soon as he was in her arms he settled down and was lulled to sleep by her voice and rocking motion.

_Is it over yet? I can't win._

"what the fuck?" sam asked "what the hell did you do to him" hera hissed at her Serena and Cianna and Hanna held her back they knew she was going to kill sam if she got close to her "I didn't do anything to that brat you stupid bitch!" sam said hera managed to get out of the girls hold but josh caught her and lifted her and his son up and walked away "IF I EVER SEEYOU NEAR MY SON AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU!" Hera screamed as josh took them away.

The girls shook their head at sam "what could she do" sam said arrogantly "she is one of the top 3 Forensic Scientist in the world, a famous model, and has many friends in the judicial system" the girls listed "meaning?" sam asked "meaning if she wants you dead you will be" Hanna said

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.  
>I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.<br>I'm going all the way, get away, please._

After that everything was normal Hera was happier and her hand was healing nicely and she didn't need nearly as much class time as she had. Life was good….Until **IT** happened.

One night the police knocked on Hera's door and told her josh had been shot and they needed her to come down to the precinct and sign some papers, Hera got Basie ready and headed down.

_You take the breath right out of me.  
>You left a hole where my heart should be.<br>You got to fight just to make it through,  
>'cause I will be the death of you.<em>

_This will be all over soon.  
>Pour salt into the open wound.<em>

When she got their she was informed that she was granted custody of Sebastian should josh die, and whatever possessions he own would be hers that included the set of wedding rings found on his person which made hera break down and cry and texted serena to come pick her up.

_Is it over yet? Let me in._

_So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.  
>I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.<br>I'm going all the way, get away, please._

Once serena was informed she was stunned silent as she took hera and Sebastian home. Once there she called the girls to come over.

_You take the breath right out of me.  
>You left a hole where my heart should be.<br>You got to fight just to make it through,  
>'cause I will be the death of you.<em>

The other girls where stunned "I wanted him to leave you be…not die" hanna said feeling slightly guilty "they said that he had these on him when sam's assassin got to him" hera said as she wore the rights on her right ring finger and the one josh was going to keep for himself on that hands thumb where it fit.

_I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating_

They all hugged her tight and looked at Sebastian sadly "well at least you have sebastain right?" Cianna asked Hera hugged him tighter "and I will make sure he grows up to be a man that his father would be proud of" hera vowed

_You take the breath right out of me.  
>You left a hole where my heart should be.<br>You got to fight just to make it through,  
>'cause I will be the death of you. <em>

After josh was cremated Hera had him put to rest somewhere close so she could take Sebastian when he was old enough and tell him about the lovable but idiotic man his father was.


	23. Imaginary

_I linger in the doorway  
>Of alarm clock screaming<br>Monsters calling my name  
>Let me stay<br>Where the wind will whisper to me  
>Where the raindrops, as they're falling, tell a story<em>

The next four months where hell for Hera. Without Sebastian she wouldn't have made it through.

The girls decided that hera needed to get out so they after confirming that Serena and her boyfriend would watch sebie they put here in something cute and dragged her to a club.

_In my field of paper flowers  
>And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)<br>I lie inside myself for hours  
>And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)<em>

_Don't say I'm out of touch  
>With this rampant chaos - your reality<br>I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge  
>The nightmare I built my own world to escape<em> 

Once at the club hera ordered one strong drink and sat skuling at the bar untill she was joined on both sides by 2 men "you look familiar" said a familiar voice to her left "yea you sound familiar, you man whore you" hera said with a slight smirk.

_In my field of paper flowers  
>And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)<br>I lie inside myself for hours  
>And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)<em> 

"nice to see my little sister still remembers me" said Luke said ruffling hera's hair "yea its been a long time big brother" hera said "havent forgoten me have you?" asked the man on her right "nope, tho id like too damian" hera said

_Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming  
>Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights<br>Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming  
>The goddess of imaginary light<em>

Damian pouted "not nice! and here i thought i missed you" luke rolled his eyes "like i havent heard you bitch for years about not being able to see her? anyways you wanna go somewhere elsa and catch up?" luke stated hera nodded and texted Hanna and Cianna.

_In my field of paper flowers  
>And candy clouds of lullaby (flowers)<br>I lie inside myself for hours  
>And watch my purple sky fly over me (flowers)<em>

and off to hera's house they went serena and co left after hera pulled in the driveway.

_(Paper flowers)_


	24. Glad you came

_The sun goes down  
>The stars come out<br>And all that counts  
>Is here and now<br>My universe will never be the same  
>I'm glad you came<br>_

Hera walked in and sat on the couch and put a movie on and as they where just getting comfy she heard basie and got up she came out with him and the boys looked at him oddly.

Luke with a protective "wtf happened to my sister" and damian with a "you bastard" look.

"when did he happen?" luke asked hera sighed sat down and explained the entire situation to them.

_You cast a spell on me, spell on me  
>You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me<br>And I decided you look well on me, well on me  
>So let's go somewhere no-one else can see, you and me<br>_

After that hera just kinda sat there with sebastian and was quiet while the movies played. Luke and Damian sandwiched her between them and relaxed eventually hera and sebastian drifted off her head on damians chest her legs acrossed luke and she was peaceful for now.

_Turn the lights out now  
>Now I'll take you by the hand<br>Hand you another drink  
>Drink it if you can<br>Can you spend a little time,  
>Time is slipping away,<br>Away from us so stay,  
>Stay with me I can make,<br>Make you glad you came_

Damian sighed happily "god i missed this!"

Luke rolled his eyes "Whatever dude, enjoy it while it lasts you know hera has never been comfortable with you after the insident" he stated matter of fact

_The sun goes down  
>The stars come out<br>And all that counts  
>Is here and now<br>My universe will never be the same  
>I'm glad you came<br>I'm glad you came  
><em>  
>"yea well i dont get why, i've always been at peace with her" damian said<p>

_You cast a spell on me, spell on me  
>You hit me like the sky fell on me, fell on me<br>And I decided you look well on me, well on me  
>So let's go somewhere no-one else can see, you and me<em>

_Turn the lights out now  
>Now I'll take you by the hand<br>Hand you another drink  
>Drink it if you can<br>Can you spend a little time,  
>Time is slipping away,<br>Away from us so stay,  
>Stay with me I can make,<br>Make you glad you came_

Luke just stared at him shook his head and watched the movie.

after it was over hera woke up and put basie to bed "there is a spare room with 2 beds sleep well i will see you in the morning" she said going to sleep in her room.

_The sun goes down  
>The stars come out<br>And all that counts  
>Is here and now<br>My universe will never be the same  
>I'm glad you came<br>I'm glad you came_

_I'm glad you came  
>So glad you came<br>I'm glad you came  
>I'm glad you came<em> 

The boys took her advice and crashed they didnt wanna see if her dark side had gotten any darker, no one was left unharmed the last time she unleashed it.

_The sun goes down  
>The stars come out<br>And all that counts  
>Is here and now<br>My universe will never be the same  
>I'm glad you came<br>I'm glad you came_


End file.
